Teaching notes, 25 August 2014

I'm starting my Introduction to Poetry with Chistopher Logue's War Music, an adaptation of the Iliad.

I'd like to start my class with the translational context of this adaptation. I believe translation will offer my students an entrypoint for concerns of both legacy and form (two of the main concerns for my class structure).

I plan on presenting this side-by-side comparison and asking such questions as,

• In what ways are these different? What do you notice in the lines, but you don't know how to describe? (Mark up the document in Google Drive.)
• Why are these translations different? Do the differences come from the translator, the audience, the original Greek itself, or something else? (Write a brief response.)
• If the same story takes different poetic forms, is it still the same story? (Write a brief response.)

George Chapman’s translation	Alexander Pope’s translation	Richmond Lattimore’s translation
Achilles’ bane full wrath resound, O Goddesse, that imposd	Achilles' wrath, to Greece the direful spring	Sing, goddess, the anger of Peleus’ son Achilleus
Infinite sorrowes on the Greekes, and many brave soules losd	Of woes unnumber'd, heavenly goddess, sing!	and its devastation, which puts pains thousandfold upon the Achaians,
From breasts Heroique—sent them farre, to that invisible cave	That wrath which hurl'd to Pluto's gloomy reign	hurled in their multitudes to the house of Hades strong souls
That no light comforts; and their lims to dogs and vultures gave.	The souls of mighty chiefs untimely slain;	of heroes, but gave their bodies to be the delicate feasting
To all which Jove’s will gave effect; from whom first strife begunne	Whose limbs unburied on the naked shore,	of dogs, of all birds, and the will of Zeus was accomplished
Betwixt Atrides, king of men, and Thetis’ godlike Sonne.	Devouring dogs and hungry vultures tore	since that time when first there stood in division of conflict
What God gave Eris their command, and op’t that fighting veine?	Since great Achilles and Atrides strove,	Atreus’ son the lord of men and brilliant Achilleus.
Jove’s and Latona’s Sonne, who, fir’d against the king of men	Such was the sovereign doom, and such the will of Jove!	What god was it then set them together in bitter collision?
For contumelie showne his Priest, infectious sickness sent	Declare, O Muse! in what ill-fated hour	Zeus’ son and Leto’s, Apollo, who in anger at the king drove
To plague the armie; and to death, by troopes, the souldiers went.	Sprung the fierce strife, from what offended power	the foul pestilence along the host, and the people perished
Occasiond thus: Chryses, the Priest, came to the fleete to buy,	Latona's son a dire contagion spread,	since Atreus’ son had dishonoured Chryses, priest of Apollo,
For presents of unvalued price, his daughter’s libertie—	And heap'd the camp with mountains of the dead;	when he came beside the fast ships of the Achaians to ransom
The golden scepter and the crowne of Phœbus in his hands	The king of men his reverent priest defied,	back his daughter, carrying gifts beyond count and holding
Proposing—and made suite to all, but most to the Commands	And for the king's offence the people died.	in his hands wound on a staff of gold the ribbons of Apollo
Of both th’ Atrides, who most ruled.  ‘Grat Atreus’ sonnes,’ said he,	For Chryses sought with costly gifts to gain	who strikes from afar, and supplicated all the Achaians,
’And all ye wel-griev’d Greekes, the Gods, whose habitations be	His captive daughter from the victor's chain.	but above all Atreus’ two sons, the marshals of the people:
In heavenly houses, grace your powers with Priam’s razed towne,	Suppliant the venerable father stands;	‘Sons of Atreus and you other strong-greaved Achians,
And grant ye happy conduct home!  To winne which wisht renowne	Apollo's awful ensigns grace his hands	to you may the gods grant who have their homes on Olympos
Of Jove, by honouring his sonne (farre-shooting Phœbus), daine	By these he begs; and lowly bending down,	Priam’s city to be plundered and a fair homecoming thereafter,
For these fit presents to dissolve the ransomeable chaine	Extends the sceptre and the laurel crown	but may you give me back my own daughter and take the ransom,
Of my lov’d daughter’s servitude.’  The Greekes entirely gave	He sued to all, but chief implored for grace	giving honour to Zeus’ son who strikes from afar, Apollo.’

After I give a basic overview of the Iliad in the English tradition, I want to dig into the textual details. Even though Logue's at a greater remove than his predecessors, I want to ask such things as:

• What does Logue lose when he doesn't maintain a consistent meter?
• What does Logue exclude/emphasize, and what does that do?
• What are some poetic devices that are consistent between Logue's account and other translations, and what do they do?

George Chapman’s translation	Alexander Pope’s translation	Richmond Lattimore’s translation	Christopher Logue’s account
			Picture the east Aegean sea by night, And on a beach aslant its shimmering Upwards of 50,000 men Asleep like spoons beside their lethal fleet.
His friend commanded; and brought forth, Briseis from her tent; Gaue her the heralds, and away, to th'Achiue ships they went She sad, and scarce for griefe, could go; her loue, all friends' forsooke, And wept for anger. To the shore, of th'old sea, he betooke Himselfe alone; and casting forth, vpon the purple sea, His wet eyes, and his hands to heauen, aduancing; this sad plea, Made to his mother: ...	Patroclus now the unwilling beauty brought; She, in soft sorrows, and in pensive thought, Pass'd silent, as the heralds held her hand, And of look'd back, slow-moving o'er the strand. Not so his loss the fierce Achilles bore; But sad, retiring to the sounding shore, O'er the wild margin of the deep he hung, That kindred deep from whence his mother sprung:	So he spoke, and Patroklos obeyed his beloved companion. He led forth from the hut Briseis of the fair cheeks and gave her to be taken away; and they walked back beside the ships of the Achaians, and the woman all unwilling went with them still. But Achilleus weeping went and sat in sorrow apart from his companions beside the beach of the grey sea looking out on infinite water. Many times stretching forth his hands he called on his mother:	Now look along that beach, and see Between the keels hatching its western dunes A ten-foot-high reed wall faced with black clay And split by a double-doored gate; Then through the gate a naked man Whose beauty’s silent power stops your heart Fast walk, face wet with tears, out past its guard, And having vanished from their sight Run with what seems to break the speed of light Across the dry, then damp, then sand invisible Beneath inch-high waves that slide Over each others’ luminescent panes; Then kneel among those panes, and say:
… ‘Mother, since, you brought me forth to breath, So short a life: Olympius, had good right to bequeath My short life, honor; yet that right, he doth in no degree: But lets Atrides do me shame, and force that prise from me That all the Greekes gaue: ...	"O parent goddess! since in early bloom Thy son must fall, by too severe a doom; Sure to so short a race of glory born, Great Jove in justice should this span adorn: Honour and fame at least the thunderer owed; And ill he pays the promise of a god, If yon proud monarch thus thy son defies, Obscures my glories, and resumes my prize."	‘Since, my mother, you bore me to be a man with a short life, therefore Zeus of the loud thunder on Olympos should grant me honour at least. But now he has given me not even a little. Now the son of Atreus, powerful Agamemnon, has dishonoured me, since he has taken away my prize and keeps it.’	“Source, hear my voice. God is your friend. You had me to serve him. In turn, He swore: If I, your only child, Chose to die young, by violence, far from home, My standing would be first; be best; The best of bests; here, and in perpetuity. And so I chose. Nor have I changed. But now-- By which I mean today, this instant, now-- That Shepherd of the Clouds has seen me trashed Surely as if he sent a hand to shoo The army into one, and then, before its eyes, Painted my body with fresh Trojan excrement.”
… this with teares, he vtterd, and she heard; Set with her old sire, in his deepes; and instantly appeard, Vp, from the gray sea, like a cloud: sate by his side, and said;	Far from the deep recesses of the main, Where aged Ocean holds his watery reign, The goddess-mother heard. The waves divide; And like a mist she rose above the tide; Beheld him mourning on the naked shores, And thus the sorrows of his soul explores.	So he spoke in tears and the lady his mother heard him as she sat in the depths of the sea at the side of her aged father, and lightly she emerged like a mist from the grey water. She came and sat beside him as he wept, and stroked him with her hand and called him by name and spoke to him: ...	Sometimes Before the gods appear Something is marked: A noise. A note, perhaps. Perhaps A change of temperature. Or else, as now, The scent of oceanic lavender That even as it drew his mind Drew from the seal-coloured sea onto the beach A mist that moved like a weed, then stood, then turned Into his mother, Thetis’, mother lovelost face Her fingers, next, that lift his chin, that push His long, redcurrant-coloured hair Back from his face, her voice, her words:
Why weepes my sonne? what grieues thee? speake; conceale not what hath laid Such hard hand on thee: let both know. ...	"Why grieves my son? Thy anguish let me share; Reveal the cause, and trust a parent's care."	‘Why then, child, do you lament? What sorrow has come to your heart now? Tell me, do not hide it in your mind, and thus we shall both know.’	“Why tears, Achilles? Rest in my arms and answer from your heart.”