A brief description of the excellent vertues of that sober and wholesome drink, called coffee,

Okay, this is a fun one. Unfortunately, I only have an hour to transcribe the poem that's not very well preserved on either EEBO scan.

A BRIEF
DESCRIPTION
OF THE
EXCELLENT VERTUES
OF THAT
Sober and wholeſome Drink,
CALLED
COFFEE,

WHen the ſweet Poiſon of the Treacherous Grape,
   Had Acted on the world a General Rape,
   Drowning our very Reaſon and our Souls
In ſuch deep Seas of large o'reflowing Bowls,
That New Philoſophers Swore they could feel
The Earth to Stagger, as her Sons did Reel:
When Foggy Ale, leavying up mighty Trains
Of muddy Vapours, had beſieg'd our Brains;
And Drink, Rebellion, and Religion too,
Made Men ſo Mad, they knew not what to do;
Then Heaven in [mutilated] y, to Effect our Cure,
And ſtop the Ragu[mutilated] of that Calenture,
Firſt ſent amongſt us this All-healing-Berry,
At once to make us both Sober and Merry.
     Arabian Coffee, a Rich Cordial
To Purſe and Person Beneficial,
Which of ſo many Vertues doth partake,
Its Country's called Felix for its fake.
From the Rich Chambers of the Riſing Sun,
Where Arts, and all good Faſhions firſt begun,
Where Earth with choiceſt Rarities is bleſt,
And dying Phœnix builds Her wondrous Neſt:
COFFEE arrives, that Grave and wholeſome Liquor,
That heals the Stomack, makes the Genius quicker,
Relieves the Memory, Revives the Sad,
And chears the Spirits, without making Mad,
For being of a Cleanſing Q U A L I T Y,
By N A T U R E warm, Attenuating and Dry,
Its conſtant Uſe the ſulleneſt Griefs will Rout,
[mutilated] oves the Dropſie, gives eaſe to the Gout
And ſoon [mutilated] whereſoever it finds
Scorbutick Humours, Hypochondriack winds,
Rheums, Ptiſtiks, Palſies, Jaudiſe, Coughs, Catarrhs,
And whatſoe're with Nature leavyeth Warrs ;
It helps Digeſtion, want of Appetite,
And quickly ſets Conſumptive Bodies Right;
A friendly Entercourſe it doth Maintain,
Between the Heart, the Liver, and the Brain,
Natures three chiefeſt VVheels, whoſe Jars we know,
Threaten the whole Microcoſme with overthrow ;
In Spring, when Peccant Humours Encreaſe moſt,
And Summer, when the Appetite is loſt,
And VVinter time too cold to Purge or Bl[mutilated]d;
Do but this Rare ARABIAN Cordial Uſe,
And thou may'ſt all the Doctors Slops Refuſe.
Huſh then, dull QUACKS, your Mountebanking ceaſe,
C O F F E E's a ſpeedier Cure for each Diſeaſe;
How great its Vertues are, we hence may think,
The VVorlds third Part makes it their common Drink,
The Amorous Gallant, whoſe hot Reins do fail,
Stung by Conjunction with the Dragons-Tail:
Let him but Tipple here, ſhall find his Grief
Diſcharged, without the Sweting-Tubs Relief ;
Nor have the L A D I E S Reaſon to Complain,
As fumbling Doe-littles are apt to Faign ,
C O F F E E's no Foe to their obliging Trade,
By it Men rather are more Active made ;

INCOMPARABLE
EFFECTS
IN
PREVENTING or CURING
MOST
DISEASES
INCIDENT TO
HUMANE BODIES.

     --- Floreſcat Arabica Planta.
'Tis ſtronger Drink, and baſe adulterate VVIne,
Enfeebles Vigour, and makes Nature Pine;
Loaden with which, th' Impotent Sott is Led
Like a Snowe'd Hogſhead to a Miſſes Bed ;
But this Rare Settle-Brain prevents thoſe Harms,
Conquers Old Sherry, and brisk Clorret Charms.
Sack, I defie thee with an open Throat,
VVhilſt Truſty C O F F E E is my Antedote;
Methinks I hear Poets Repent th'have been,
So long Idolaters to that ſparkling Queen;
For well they may perceive 'tis on Her ſcore
A P O L L O keeps them all ſo Curſed Poor ;
Let them avoid Her tempting Charms, and then
VVe hope to ſee the VVits grow Aldermen
In Breif, all you who Healths Rich Treaſures Prize,
And Court not Ruby Noſes, or blear'd Eyes
But own Sobriety to be your Drift,
And Love at once good Company and Thrift ;
   To VVine no more make VVit and Coyn a Trophy,
   But come each Night and Frollique here in Coffee.

The RULES and ORDERS of the
COFFEE-HOUSE.
Enter Sirs freely, But firſt if you pleaſe,
Peruſe our Civil-Orders, which are theſe.

Firſt [mutilated] welcome
And may without Affront [mutilated] :
Pre-eminence of Place, none here ſhould Mind,
But take the next fit Seat that he can find:
Nor need any, if Finer Perſons come,
Riſe up for to aſſigne to them his Room;
To limit Mens Expence, we think not fair,
But let him forfeit Twelve-pence that ſhall Swear:
He that ſhall any Quarrel here begin,
Shall give each Man a Diſh t'Atone the Sin;
And ſo ſhall He, whoſe Complements extend
So far to drink in C O F F E E to his Friend;
Let Noiſe of loud Diſputes be quite forborn,
No Maudlin Lovers here in Corners Mourn,
But all be Brisk, and Talk, but not too much
On Sacred things, Let none preſume to touch,
Nor Profane Scripture, or ſawcily wrong
Affairs of State with an Irreverent Tongue :
Let Mirth be Innocent, and each man ſee,
That all his Jeſts withotu Reflection be;
To keep the Houſe more Quiet, and from Blame,
VVe Baniſh hence Cards, Dice, and every Game:
Nor can allow of VVagers, that Exceed
Five ſhillings, which oft-times much Trouble Breed;
Let all that's loſt, or forfeited, be ſpent
In ſuch Good Liquor as Houſe doth Vent,
And Cuſtomers endeavor to their Powers,
For to obſerve ſtill ſeaſonable Howers.
   Lastly, Let each Man what he calls for Pay,
   And ſo you're welcome to come every Day.

I was originally attracted to this print because of tho two-frame illustration at the top. This illustration has illustrations that are uniquely stacked vertically. The upper frame has a comparison of coffee trees, and the lower frame depicts a conversation at a coffee house.

I should probably just refer to Joseph Monteyne's reading of coffee-house images from The Printed Image in Early Modern London.